Tag Archives: Swimming

Triathloning: Swimming to Nowhere

In my last triathloning column, I discussed heat acclimation.

On Monday, I irritated my iliotibial (IT) band, and now my left knee hurts bad enough to keep me off the streets. I’ve previously written about eating through injuries, and this time, I at least have an alternative form of exercise available: swimming. The worst part about running injuries is not not (excuse the double negative, not) being able to run; the second worst part is confinement to the treadmill during rehab. Treadmills pervert the very purpose of running—instead of moving forwards, the treadmill forces the runner to remain stationary. In fact, treadmills originated as a method of disciplining prisoners. Following a 1779 prison reform act, English prisoners were required to perform “labor of the hardest and most servile kind.“  To meet this strange regulation, William Cubbitt designed an ingenious device that forced inmates to walk on belted platforms, simultaneously operating a mill. Sydney Smith described the 19th century treadmill as “irksome, dull, monotonous, and disgusting to the last degree.” In The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde puts it a bit more poetically: “We banged the tins, and bawled the hymns / And sweated on the mill.” Since the mid-19th century, the word treadmill has also meant any exhausting work that leads nowhere. Unless you have a lake, sea, ocean, or similarly expansive body of water within easy reach, swimming resembles running on a treadmill. Moving back and forth across the pool, you endlessly traverse the same territory—the illusion of progress merely disguises a kind of numbing stasis. Continue reading

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Triathloning: Freestyling to Dinner

The word “marathoning” is of dubious validity; triathloning just seems made-up. In order to continue my Friday series on endurance sports though, I needed to adjust the name to reflect the new subject matter. My next race will not be a marathon. Instead, I plan on completing a triathlon in August—something under the half-Iron Man distance, most likely a one mile swim, 40 mile bike ride, and eight mile run. I’m a capable cyclist and an experienced distance runner. Unfortunately, I’ve allowed my swimming skills to lapse over the last six years. Struggling to complete a seemingly mediocre workout is a humbling experience; it is easy to forget the initial difficulties of a new exercise regimen. Hopefully, in six weeks I will have become a significantly more proficient swimmer. Continue reading

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Tour de Hamdel: Juiced Edition

Official rules and regulations located here.

Last time I had the Cheese Tease.

The Jose Special. You know what it is, right? It’s that thing where Jose Canseco comes up to you in the locker room waggling a big needle and offers to give you an injection you won’t ever forget. In his controversial memoir Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big, Canseco talks about his own steroid use, and then starts naming names. It’s as predictable as a Mark McGwire home run circa 1998—that one handed backswing caught many a camera flash. Canseco claims he shot up teammates Rafael Palmeiro, Juan Gonzalez, and Ivan Rodriguez with anabolic steroids. The Jose Special made baseball exciting for a new generation of fans. I remember following McGwire’s ’98  streak—as a second grader, the world of professional baseball seemed populated by mythical heroes, giants that rose above the ranks of mere mortals. When McGwire broke Roger Maris’s single season home run record with a steroid-powered blast that ricocheted off the upper deck, I probably sacrificed a bull to Zeus. Continue reading

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Filed under Columbia University, New York City, Tour de Hamdel