My first time going undercover, I felt like a teenager going to his
junior prom: a little sweaty, definitely nervous, and anxious to make
the right impression. But instead of asking the girl out and meeting the
parents, I was making a dinner reservation and meeting the hostess. On
the phone, I played it cool, used my especially endearing and
seductively honest voice—what could this young man have to hide? “I’d
like a table for four on October 16th at 7:00 p.m.” I said confidently.
“Can I have your name please?” “Radfurd,” I answered, a name I randomly
invented hours before. “Can I have your first name as well?” “Aaron.”
Also part of the original plan. “And may I ask who you’re affiliated
with?”
Time stopped, and adrenaline poured into my bloodstream, heartbeat
quickening, breathing shallow, alert and ready for attack from some
primordial beast. Where did I go wrong? With what blundering phrase did I
tip off this reservationist that I intended much more than a relaxed
Friday night on the town with friends? “No one, I’m just a private
citizen,” I stammered, taken completely by surprise. She told me to
hold, and I waited for her verdict. “I’m sorry, we’re doing preview
dinners through the 14th and I was confused,” she said. Disaster
averted, I gave the woman one of my friend’s cellphone numbers for
confirmation and hung up, utterly relieved.
Last spring, I wrote a decidedly a negative review of Tom Colicchio’s then new restaurant, Colicchio & Sons. Following a smidgen of media coverage and a tongue-in-cheek tweet from Insatiable Critic Gael Greene, Colicchio responded to my review.
His vituperative message seemed clear enough: college students, college
critics for that matter, have no inkling about food or restaurant
reviewing. For more details about this escapade, click here, here, and here.
After the Tom Colicchio debacle, I assumed that the doors of any
Colicchio restaurant would remain shuttered to me in perpetuum. I
avoided ‘wichcraft, stayed away from Craft, and made joking excuses to
escape return visits to Colicchio & Sons. This October, however,
Colicchio opened a new spot, Riverpark. I knew that I needed to visit,
both to see whether Colicchio’s latest creation might surpass his
disastrous last and to resolve a nagging tension in my psyche. Entering
the lair of the beast, I might do battle with the (imagined) monster
within and unmask him to my mind’s eye. I also might enjoy a delicious
dinner. Continue reading →